[NVR 20]

Heres two from the boondock saints:

Yakavetta: I'm having a ****ty day. I'm depressed. Tell me a funny joke.
Rocco: Uh, OK. There's these three guys walking on the beach, a spic, a white guy, and a black guy.
Yakavetta: Ni**er.
Rocco: Yeah, right. So they find this pot, rub it, and a genie comes out. The genie says, "You can wish for whatever you want." So he asks the Mexican what he wants, and he says "I want all my people in America to be happy and free, and in Mexico." So the genie goes poof. It's done. Then he says to the black guy...
Vincenzo Lipazzi: Ni**er.
Rocco: Yeah, right, he says to the ni**er "What do you want?" and the ni**er says, "I want all my ni**er brothers to be back in Africa, and happy and free and everything." So the genie goes poof. And they're all back in Africa. So... I'm not funny today, really, this joke sucks, I know...
Yakavetta: Continue the joke.
Rocco: Uh, so he says to the white guy, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy says, "Wait, you mean to tell me that all the spics and ni**ers are out of America?" The genie goes yeah, and the white guy says, uh, "I'll have a Coke, then."

2. Rocco: I killed your cat, you druggie bi**h.
Donna: What? Why?
Rocco: I thought it would bring closure to our relationship.