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07-09-2006, 12:14 AM
| #42 (permalink) |
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Posts: n/a |  Hoggy...  The story of Hoggy Bear.... 'Hoggy' or hoggy bear as his friends call him(he likes to think he has friends) story is a long and sad one.....to him, to us its just pathetic and funny, lets read on shall we? Hoggy was born on a small island off the southern coast of Ireland, it was a small community mainly lepers. Hoggys parents became lepers when he was 6, but unfortunately the lepers didn’t think hoggy was 'cool' enough to join them so he was cast out. He was tied to a small boat and pushed out to sea. The current took hoggy to France where he moved in with a family of German farmers. Hoggy was happy there for awhile but at age 13 he started to get strange feelings, he was growing up and falling in love! He was cast out of the house and family, when they found him making love to various farm animals. Without parents it seemed hoggy couldn’t understand the difference between a man&woman and a man&beast. Hoggy was confused and alone, this is when he meet 'lucy' the she-man from Bavaria(in Scotland) he traveled with her/him all over Europe, spreading stories of wisdom and various STDs. Before ending up in Holland and moving in with a family of Italians. Things got worse for hoggy then, he was hated by the community he lived in for being 1/6 leper and hanging around with a she-man, he tried to blend in and socialize with the people but to no avail. One night he slept on the pavement outside a fruit&vegtable store, and woke up only to find a old man touching him in his 'no' area and with a very sore arse (He also found vegetables stuck in the most unusual places,but we wont get into that..), This is the origin of Hoggys insomnia and his fear to sleep! Hoggy was home sick and wanted to go back home to Ireland, he bought plane tickets with the money he made from selling himself, and robbing peoples clothes when they were in the local swimming pool. He ended up in England it seems he bought the wrong tickets( oh I forgot to mention hoggy is in fact 67% mentally challenged, he has the brain capacity of a small carrot) He made his way up through England hoping to find a way home. He met a boy named 'Fanta' at this stage and went to stay with him. Hoggy soon got scared of fanta as all he seemed to do was draw pictures on his PC, and jack off while watching Counterstrike games! He fled from fanta and ended up in manchester.Here he wore a Liverpool jersey and liked to tell people he was Irish and gave out about the history between the two countries. Hoggy was found in a coma on a ferry headed for Ireland, it seemed he was beaten to a pulp and thrown aboard?(wonder why?) hoggy eventually got back to Ireland, being a part-leper and 'fond' of the company of animals, there was only one place for him...CORK! He lives in cork now surrounded by langers, and as much animals for the taking as he likes. He can be found up at all hours roaming the px360 forums,or looking at smutty videos on you-tube while 'enjoying' himself. Last edited by shane32Eire : 07-09-2006 at 12:17 AM. |
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07-09-2006, 12:42 AM
| #43 (permalink) |
| Sporks?   Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 909   | bloody brilliant shane, bloody brilliant! Id forgotten the ol'story threads brute and I started way back when. nice bring back shane, but prepare for the wrath of hoggy!!!!
__________________ "hE tHaT iS GoOd wiTh a HAmmeR, TENds tO tHInk thAt EveRyTHinG iS a nAiL."  THANX DRAGONUK FOR THE SIGGY! |
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07-09-2006, 04:29 PM
| #44 (permalink) |
| Xbox 360 Pro  Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 130  | The origins of Shane Shaneicus liverpoolfanicus is a type of rodent/human hybrid that was born in the Galway mountains. He is best described as an evolutinary cul de sac. Born without charm, looks, style or the basic intelligence needed to open doors he was shunned by his massively inbred family and confined in a small cupboard till the age of 9. Due to the large amount of beatings he got in his chldhood he developed an obsession with soccer reasoning that a football was the only thing on the planet that got kicked about more than him. After been chased out of his home town by a mob of farmers wielding pitchforks and flaming torches he set out for England to start his career. The life of this odd pathetic soul might have ended there but unfortunatly he was rescued half way through his attempt to swim to England by a perverted fisherman called old greasy Bobba. Shane spent the next several years as Bobba's personal gimp surviving by eating fish that he captured and subjected to his sick fantasies on his special evenings. Eventually Shane escaped when the dolphin he was attempting to violate washed up on Dublin coastline. There he finally found happiness sorrounded by the wasters and scum of the earth that are the Dubs. These days he can be found lurking around the ShoutBox trying to entice people to join him in his special evenings and crying about his lost love fungi the dolphin.
__________________  There is no pleasure, no rapture no exquisite sin greater, than central air |
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10-09-2006, 06:19 AM
| #46 (permalink) |
| CS:S Pro  Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 436  | Hoggy, i still miss you. Come round some day in the winter, yeh? Damn you shane, including me in your story. As long as you didnt rip me for more things than that.... e.g hentai, sheep (both of which arent true), my music taste 
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12-09-2006, 12:46 AM
| #47 (permalink) |
| drinks your milkshake  Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,982  | Holy sh**!! This thread was revived and I didn't even know it!!! I'm going to have to make a new "origin" of someone soon. Better watch out members, the next one could be YOU BTW great job by both Shane and Hoggy. That was some genius stuff there. lol |
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21-03-2007, 07:46 PM
| #48 (permalink) |
| Staff Writer  Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,094   | The Origins of RemixFA: Remix was born on a specific day, on a specific month of a specific year. Over 32 hours of laborious pains Remix was ejected from the interstice of his mothers’ womb to tears of joy and tears of what the ****! Unfortunately, remix was born with a rare condition known as hermaphroditism. Not knowing which name to bestow upon their first and only child, his parents researched names of neutrality. After rejecting names such as Pat, Robin, and Taylor, the choice was made and Remix was given the name Jamie. Jamie’s parents would not relent in allowing him to attend public school. Instead, he was enrolled at a private institution with people who suffer from similar conditions. This institution was conveniently located at Never Land Ranch in California. Jamie knew the cost of enrollment was an exorbitant amount of money so, with his compassionate heart, he asked his parents how he could help. They informed him they have been making Flour to sell to little children to bake small children sized cakes. They asked Jamie if he could assist in delivery. Jamie obliged as he watched his parents take one large plastic zip lock bag of flour, pour it on a table, divide equally, and place it separately in smaller zip lock bags for the children. After the first day Jamie noticed that he was not delivering to the children as his parents had alluded to. Every one in which he delivered was an adult who in turn gave him large quantities of money. Once Jamie even delivered to a man who’s nasal cavity had collapsed leaving him one giant nostril. On his second day Jamie was beaten severely and robbed of his flour and money. When he returned home he informed his parents and they no longer allowed him to deliver flour. When he asked why he was beaten up over flour for children cakes they never replied. As the years progressed Jamie enrolled at an internet college where he earned a degree in drama and arts. He took this newly attained knowledge and attempted to become an actor. After hundreds of auditions he was turned down every time. Broken hearted, Jamie tried one last edition before he would return home and eat all of his parents’ flour. This time it was a success as he played the starring role in the “Mask” circa 1985. Now many thought Eric Stoltz had won out the role but because of budgetary reasons they were unable to employ him so they replaced him with Jamie. It worked out great because Jamie did not need any make-up or special effect. It was Jamie in all his glory. Below you will find a picture of him in his triumphant movie debut. However, when rumors surfaced pertaining to Jamie’s condition the production company removed his name from the credits and denied he played any role in the movie. Eric Stoltz stole all the credit for the movie which hurt Jamie on the deepest level.  After being betrayed Jamie gave up his love for acting and retired to a place called the forums at Planet Xbox 360 where he is still known to surface from time to time as RemixFA. We are still unsure if he still delivers flour. Last edited by Kona Palangi : 22-03-2007 at 06:33 PM. Reason: Because I can |
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22-03-2007, 02:15 PM
| #53 (permalink) |
| Xbox 360 Freak  Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,143  | The story of Matt. Matt like many of Austrailias inhabitants descends from a British deported criminal. The name of this criminal was Professor Richard Cranium not much is known about the personal life of Professor Richard Cranium, only that friends and relatives knew him as Dick Head. The crimes of Prof. Dick are almost too horrible to recount but I'll tell you anyway.. In 1806 Deep in the basement of his London Laboratories Professor dick was working on a fiendish design to turn himself into a superhuman mastermind so he could take over the world. For 20 years he worked tirelessly day and night perfecting his formula until one day tests on one of his lab pigs provided the breakthrough he was looking for after feeding the potion to a pig it suddenly started a piano recital and played Frederic Chopin's Prelude in E Minor. Whats so horrible about that I hear you say? Nothing, Except Prof Dick Cranium was not a pig! In his haste he decided he needed to test the formula on himself right away. All went well but not as well as he had hoped he wasnt a mastermind but he was solving difficult crosswords in no time at all. One night upon returning from the Lab Prof Cranium decided he would give up and asked Mrs Vaniker Cranium (his wife) to start a family with him. She was overjoyed and 9 months later little Matthew Cranium was born. But! not all was as it seemed, the potion that Prof Dick was taking had some profound side effects and altered the genetic code in his sperm. By aged 4 months Matthew Cranium was moving objects with his mind. By aged six years he had killed 7 nurses 2 Doctors a milkman and a rabbit with telekenesis. It was only after intense interrogation that Dick Head explained why mathew was the way he was.. After some deliberation the only answer was to send them far away before more damage was done. When the Cranium family arrived in Austrailia, Matt's condition got out of control he would travel back in time to hide his fathers slippers and stuff using only his mind. In 1850 Matt learned how to stop himself from ageing after watching his beloved parents die of old age. By the 1912 Matt had lost the use of his eyelids because he would never need to sleep. By the end of the Second World War (which Matt started and then stopped with his mind because he got bored) he had lost the ability to talk. Eventually the computer was invented and Matt saw an oppurtunity to truly control the World In a way his father could only dream of. By 1990 Matt at the age of 184 he became completely immobile and yet his mind could reach the 4 corners of the galaxy. Now he sits patiently in the basement of his not very secret lair in Ayres Rock waiting patiently to destroy the world with his giant mind controlled Ban Hammer. 
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E-114 by Argon18. $5,600.00 SWEET!!! |
31-03-2007, 02:25 PM
| #58 (permalink) | |
| Why soooo serious?  Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,521  | Quote:
 i had many deliverys to this strange skinny little man at that neverland place.. i remember him being black as a kid, but he sure looks white now. guess ill have to join in.. hmm... ill come back when i have more time to devote to a long post | |
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